Alinea

It cost $500 per person, and I expected at least privacy, quality, and consistency. We drove a good couple of hours to experience this mediocrity and spent money on a city stay for an average experience. What a shame. It was also close to Valentine’s Day, and they did absolutely nothing to acknowledge it. No small gesture, no themed touch, no attempt to make it feel special. For a place positioning itself as an “experience,” that felt like a missed opportunity. I don’t trust any place that messes up desserts; that’s the one place where you can redeem yourself. The initial item was an osetra caviar so salty it was inedible, with salty cheese and a disgusting sauce that did not pair well. After this experience and few other items on the menu, I am traumatized by caviar. Then they moved on to a Chicago-style hot dog, deconstructed and served as a jelly. This was honestly the highlight and what I came expecting. Then they gave a smoked salmon with a charred topping, which felt mediocre, nothing special. And then an underwhelming deconstructed parsnip: below average, very salty, and it left me wondering what I just tasted. It was not cohesive. And then something called a skate, which tasted like an explosion of tamarind. Worse, it tasted like the tamarind paste you buy at the grocery store. And then they moved on to some white asparagus with a strawberry dish, which I honestly don’t remember tasting like anything, and I don’t know what the point of it was. And then a squab, which, if I had known what it was, I would’ve said no, thank you. I literally did not finish it. It was so bad. Again, a lot of dishes with just salt, and that’s the only thing I remember, not the taste of the dish itself. Dishes I could eat but were very, very MID: King crab, wagyu (I’ve had better wagyu at a one-Michelin-star restaurant). They did some market testing with a new dish that was Asian: Massaman curry in a sponge cake. This was amazing. The curry definitely needs some refinement and balance, and I would even recommend adding a little less, since it was too much. The taste was good. There were a few other good things: distilled grape with in-house sesame oil, hot potato, cold potato, and the Chicago-style hot dog (highlighted and the best). Absolutely disgusting: The dessert. Dessert: Pumpkin, chai, and chocolate are an abomination of flavors. I absolutely hate chai as a dessert and pumpkin flavor in general, and I couldn’t taste the chocolate. Now, this dessert also had ginger, which I could taste strongly, probably the only thing I tasted, and I couldn’t eat more than two or three spoons. What a waste of money. Theatrical experience: The dessert part was theatrical and nice, but that was the only part where they actually tried to entertain. There was another instance where they took us into the kitchen and asked us to take pictures if we wanted. Honestly, it felt like nothing special, and it felt like they thought too much of themselves. Ambience: 3/10. Nothing special. The lights were dimmed, people kept walking up and down, and what we picked turned out to be the most expensive experience of them all. We expected some privacy. The gallery (the experience itself): They seated us with others who also chose the same experience, and it felt like a group activity done individually, which I felt did not justify the price. I would’ve loved to sit facing my date rather than a random stranger. They should consider making dishes that are globally appealing and think about the theme. Instead of only asking for dietary restrictions, they should also ask for dietary preferences, because I need to tell you that I don’t like squab and extremely salty food.